Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Stalker's Rage's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, April 15th, 2008
10:34 pm	*The New and Improved Ultimate About Me*: Basics: Name: Master of the Universe Date of Birth: the third of August in the year of our Lord, ninteen hundred and nintey three Birthplace: a hospital Current Location: a brothel Eye Color: pink Hair Color: magenta Height: as long as i am wide Heritage: story land Piercings: why? Tattoos: not enough Favourite: Band/Singer: Karen Carpenter Song: Patrick Swayze - She's Like The Wind Movie: The Buttercream Gang Disney Movie: The Wizard of Gore TV show: The View Color: Black. Except as a skin color. Food: bone marrow Pizza topping: pubes Ice-Cream Flavor: Ben&Jerry's "The Black Death" Drink (alcoholic): a fat chick on a bar stool Soda: diet moxie Store: leather and lace Clothing Brand: haynes her way Shoe Brand: stilletto Season: salt and pepper Month: October Holiday/Festival: gay pride day Flower: ladyslippers Make-Up Item: cat urine Board game: russian roulette This or That Sunny or rainy: rain Chocolate or vanilla: white people Fruit or veggie: i'll take the tards Night or day: early evening Sour or sweet: i'll take 'em both i'm hardcore Love or money: a rich chick who loves me Phone or in person: a person on the phone Looks or personality: a person with looks Coffee or tea: cream of wheat Hot or cold: depends on the item Your: Goal for this year: not die Most missed memory: what a warm vagina feels like Best physical feature: my hairy dimpled ass First thought waking up: "this is a day that will live in infamy." or, "great fucking balls ache!" Hypothetical personality disorder: I'm a fucking prick Preferred type of plastic surgery: penile enhancement Sesame street alter ego: bert. or ernie. whichever doesn't have AIDS. Fairytale alter ego: the oven in hanzel and gretel. Most stupid remark: every question leading to this one Worst crime: pedophilia Greatest ambition: not dying Greatest fear: not dying Darkest secret: i'm not dead Favorite subject: correcting your horrible English grammar Strangest received gift: a double-ended dong Worst habit: touching myself in inappropriate ways Do You: Smoke: pole Drink: fish. or like a fish. or whatever. Curse: cunt Shower daily: bi-yearly. Like thunderstorms: depends. they make me need Depends� Dance in the rain: i don't dance UNLESS it's raining, actually. Sing: like a fish. or whatever. Play an instrument: the skin flute. Get along with your parents: they get along with me Wish on stars: just to not die Believe in fate: i believe in prostitutes. Believe in love at first sight: depends on how good she's sucking my cock. Can You: Drive: only thing i drive is you. to distraction. Sew: no, but I can be a sow. oink oink, muthafucka. Cook: that's what women are for. Speak another language: pig latin Dance: like a fish. Sing: if you can talk, you can sing. Touch your nose with your tongue: i can touch my cock with your tongue Whistle: whistle blowing is against federal and state law Curl your tongue: into a U. Have You Ever: Been Drunk: i've never not been drunk Been Stoned/High: i'm usually low Eaten Sushi: i've watched it walk off my plate before. Been in Love: heart on my sleeve, cock in my hand. Skipped school: i've skipped at school. Made prank calls: no. the phone police will get you. Sent someone a love letter: is that like a death threat? Stolen something: just some girls' virginities. Cried yourself to sleep: every night Other Questions: What annoys you most in a person? reely pore and bad speling or gramer Are you right or left handed? bi-sexual What is your bedtime? when your mom makes me come lay with her Name three things you can't live without: fucking. your. face hole. What is the color of your room? i'm homeless. Do you have any siblings? several. Do you have any pets? i have them. and they have worm ass. Would you kill someone you hate for a million dollars? i'd kill someone i love for a million dollars. What is you middle name? Bob. What are you nicknames? the letter "r." look into it. Are you for or against gay marriage? i'm against straight marriage. What are your thoughts on abortion? i bet they taste good on toast. Do you have a crush on anyone? crushes are for people who aren't getting any on a daily basis Are you afraid of the dark? Cinar & Nickelodeon present: How do you want to die? slowly, slowly. it's too nice a job to rush. What is the largest amount of popsicles that you have eaten on one day? 42 Would you take a bullet for the one you love? I'd doge a bullet for the one I love What is the last law you�ve broken? corruption and sexual assault of a minor In a Member of the Opposite Sex: Hair color: silver Eye color: albino pink Height shorter than me, taller than a midget Weight lighter than me, heavier than my cock Most important physical feature: small hands. Biggest turn-off them having a penis. once was enough. (Make a Statement)
Wednesday, March 1st, 2006
1:56 pm	BACK TO MYSPACE TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey Name: Stalkersrage Birthday: August 3rd, 1983 Birthplace: T-Town, Massachusetts Current Location: C-Town, New Hampshire Eye Color: blueish Hair Color: negro Height: 6' Right Handed or Left Handed: Right Your Heritage: Portuguese & Irish The Shoes You Wore Today: Are Black Your Weakness: I have none Your Fears: nothing Your Perfect Pizza: white with shrimp and linguicia Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Find happiness in <3 Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: "lol" Thoughts First Waking Up: "This Is A Day That Will Live In Infamy!" Your Best Physical Feature: eyes Your Bedtime: Whenever The Fuck I Want Your Most Missed Memory: Heaven & Hell Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi Cola Sucks - It Tastes Like Fucking Shit MacDonalds or Burger King: Wendy's Single or Group Dates: Single Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Arizona Chocolate or Vanilla: Mocha Cappuccino or Coffee: Coffee Do you Smoke: No Do you Swear: Fuck Fuck Fuck Fucking Cunt No Do you Sing: Yes Do you Shower Daily: Eh. Nah. No reason to if I'm not going anywhere Have you Been in Love: Yes Do you want to go to College: Not Right Now Do you want to get Married: Yes Do you belive in yourself: Yes Do you get Motion Sickness: Never Do you think you are Attractive: Not Especially Are you a Health Freak: Fuck Not, I'm Fat Do you get along with your Parents: Most Of The Time Do you like Thunderstorms: Yes Do you play an Instrument: No, I hit up the Vox In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: yes In the past month have you Smoked: yes In the past month have you been on Drugs: yes In the past month have you gone on a Date: no In the past month have you gone to a Mall: er, MVMall, but does that really count? In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: no In the past month have you eaten Sushi: yes In the past month have you been on Stage: no In the past month have you been Dumped: no In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: no In the past month have you Stolen Anything: yes Ever been Drunk: yes Ever been called a Tease: no Ever been Beaten up: no Ever Shoplifted: yes How do you want to Die: Slowly, Slowly, It's Too Nice A Job To Rush What do you want to be when you Grow Up: I'm Already Grown Up What country would you most like to Visit: Ireland / Japan In a Boy/Girl.. Favourite Eye Color: I Don't Care Favourite Hair Color: Dark Short or Long Hair: Short / Medium Height: Shorter than me Weight: Not Morbidly Obese Best Clothing Style: The Kind That Makes Them Look Best Number of Drugs I have taken: 3 Number of CDs I own: Several... Number of Piercings: None Number of Tattoos: 8 Number of things in my Past I Regret: ..Several... (2 Statements | Make a Statement)
Saturday, October 1st, 2005
6:58 am	NEW JOURNAL i created a new journal tonight, because i was mostly sick of this one and i want a nice, friends only journal. there is no way of doing that with this one, unless i go back and do them all, so i have a new one. the new one is at http://www.livejournal.com/users/fictionallie I've already added: celtic_kidd, crittle_meistah, daveyjames, knifeinspine, macabregrl, prettymalice00, snakeface, tianamolko, unlucky_bastard anyone else who wants to be added or anyone i've forgotten to add, comment (on the NEW JOURNAL), and i'll decide then. anyone who wants to add me back, please do that too. (Make a Statement)
Friday, September 30th, 2005
4:46 pm	Let's Compare Scars, I'll Tell You Whose Is Worse I really felt great last night. I love the fall - it makes everything in life seem to disappear, if that makes sense to anyone. I just am totally in love wiht autumn; I can't really explain it. Autumn at night is the best ever. Fuck winter and summer. So yeah...I'm spending the weekend alone, so if anyone wants to come over and keep me company tomorrow all day and Sunday morning/afternoon please do. I start my job at the Shaw's on Sunday night (12-6), but tonight and tomorrow night I have nothing to do but waste away on the internet. So if you have, similarly, nothing else to do come over and hang out. I get bored easily. Nothing much else to talk about, really. Nothing that anyone doesn't already know, anyway. As if so many people are reading this anyway. But yeah. It's still a way for me to have something to do and somewhere to vent if I feel the need. Right now I kind of do, but I think people are probably getting sick of me complaining about shit, and all the while talking non-stop about wanting to move to Texas. So I'll just let it go for now. Perhaps later I will feel inclined to tell everyone (who actually reads this) all the things I feel right now. If I can sort them out for myself first. Current Mood: Sure, Whatever Current Music: Rise Against - Swing Life Away (Make a Statement)
Friday, September 23rd, 2005
9:11 pm	Movies are better than sex... This week's movies: Corpse Bride Not as good as Nightmare, but still not bad overall. Very short, so there isn't much drag to the story at all. The songs are not as catchy as in Nightmare either, but the characters are pretty well developed yet not overly complex. There is no suprise to the ending, and it pretty much finishes in the way that is most expected. Perhaps not necessarily for children, as it may be relatively frightening to younger kids, it still satisfied my Burton craving, especially after that piece of trash Wonka remake. As a movie: *** (of 5) Compared to other Burton films: ** (of 5) Flightplan Not exactly the psychological thriller that the commercials make it out to be, this Jodie Foster vehicle still maintains as a very decent movie. Apparently Foster has decided to rebuild her career around movies where she plays a hysterical mother (read: Panic Room), but it seems to suit her well. In Flightplan, she has zero problem creating an atmosphere that makes us wonder if she is indeed insane or if her conspiracies are acurate and her daughter has been taken. There is (obviously) a twist to the ending of this movie, but they kind of push it as SO obvious throughout that you are actually suprised when you're proven right at the end. I'm not going to mention whether she IS crazy or not, but I think within 10 minutes you should be able to calculate the ending. As a movie: *** (of 5) Compared to other Foster movies: *** (of 5) There ya go. Those are my reviews of the two new movies this week. What's that you say? I forgot Roll Bounce? Hahahaha. Fuck you. Current Mood: pretty pathetic Current Music: Cancerslug - Bloodseed (2 Statements | Make a Statement)
Tuesday, September 20th, 2005
11:34 pm	Now I'm Left to Decay Here, Wallowing in Shit-Filled Misery The events of this past weekend, things that have happenend to my family, it makes me feel like I shouldn't have anything to complain about - it makes me honestly feel that my problems aren't important, no matter how much I know I am being affected by them. I don't pretend to think that what is going on in my heart will ever be more important than the things that my siblings are feeling right now, and as much as I mourn for what they are having to deal with, I have this constant nagging in the back of my mind - a nagging that isn't going away and that I have no relief from. Mundane as they may be in comparison, I can't deal any longer with all these issues that I have zero control over. I don't know what to do. There are these certain things; pieces of me that have grown to complete everything that I am...they all seem to be crumbling away. And no matter how hard I strive to hold everything together, nothing is staying the same. I hate change. I always have. I don't like new things, and I don't like when things are out of my control. Perhaps that is why I am so violent. Some of you have seen me at times when I was so destroyed inside and angry that even I thought there was nothing left to do. But it is something that has just kept building and growing - to this point where I am now wherein I don't know what to do. I punch the doors, I cry, I scream, I sit catatonically and just phase out the world. Nothing helps. I can't get my mind out of my own problems, even in the face of dire issues of my friends and family. I've been to psychiatrists, I've talked and listened, and I've felt better - for a day or so. Then my life gets thrown back down, so much so it again feels like there is no way back up. I used to cut alot. I suppose a lot of people of my generation did, in fact for a long time it was almost the "in" thing to be doing. But those people are ignorant. I was ignorant. It never helped me at all. No more than going to talk to someone did. It is all so short term, when the problems I face every day are long term. I don't know where I'm going anymore, and I don't know who is going to be there with me. For a long time I thought that everything was going so well; I really knew what I wanted to be and where I wanted my life to go. It's funny, too, because at 16...17...18...those things, they were all the same. When I was 18 my life began to include someone new, yes, but where I wanted to go and how great I wanted everything to be - they never changed. They adapted. And I was happy. Most people, at 16 years old, they don't know what they want to do. Sure at 18 I was just out of high school and still working part-time at the same shitty place I'd been working since I was 13, but I knew what I wanted. And it seemed in reach at that point. Why has everything faded away and gone out of reach? I'm 22 years old. Not old, by any standards. But when my parents were 22, I was almost 2 years old. I'm not saying that I want a child right now, because where I'm at I can barely support myself. But I don't want it to be that far off, either. I want to be able to settle myself down soon. No, I haven't found a career yet. And maybe I made a lot of mistakes over the last few years that have really put a damper on what my overall plan was. I would never change the things I've done now, and I would never replace any of the people in my life, either. But when i look at my friends right now, why are they all so much younger than I am? Most of my friends, the people I really confide in - why are they still in high school? Oh, I know - because the only people I know are people I work with, and it's all kids. Adults have a real job by my age and a REAL life - going somewhere. But I'm not. And, no,I don't have friends who are adults. And I AM an adult. Even the people I do know who are roughly my age, their so stupid. And childish. I don't know why, but I feel a lot more mature than most of the people I know who are my age. And definately more so than some of my friends who are younger. I realized when I got to college, where most of the people were freshman or sophmores, barely out of high school, that they didn't grow up at all in the couple years they'd graduated. It was like being at high school but worse, because everyone lived togeter. So that "drama" aspect of high school was intensified. And it sucked - I couldn't feel it. I wanted to be somewhere else, anywhere else. And I wanted to be really living, as opposed to feeling like all the people I knew needed to babysat at all times. Not saying I didn't have fun, but I didn't party every single night and weekend, mostly I didn't at all. And I was one of the few people there I knew legally old enough to be able to do it. Maybe I'm not as mature as I think I am, but I can't help but feel that way when I look back on the ways that I used to act, and the way that people I know act now. My family, people like Kymm and Derek, they seem more mature for their age than anyone I went to college with. I'm not saying I affected that, I'm sure that things like Derek living on his own for a few years and just barely being old enough now to do so - that probably toughened him up quickly. Then I see people my age, like Kim, who's life is even more worse than mine and most anyone I know. Always feeling low, but depending on other things to make it better. I don't, and never will, see the reason for medications for depression, no matter what anyone says. And as far as "self medication", well, I had 12 bottles of alcohol sitting down there on the floor next to me for almost 2 months. It's only gone now because of other people who have visited me. So fuck that crap; I don't ever want to be so bad in my own body that THAT would be a turn I would take. I've got dreams, and things I still want to do. Fantasies, sure, like having a band. But my real dreams; being a writer...it's something that I know I can do but feels so unatanable. My personal life, aside from my friends, is something else that I am having a real hard time with. But there is nothing left for me to do there. It's the feeling of helplessness, loneliness, and longing that I can't beat. It's beating me, instead. Current Mood: Fading Away Current Music: Cancerslug - Betrayed (2 Statements | Make a Statement)
Saturday, September 17th, 2005
3:40 pm	In a dream I spent the day with you In a carriage bought by blood The clouds were singing songs of fear and loss And they cut me down to size And they cut me down to size Broken wings have a home tonight No one is listening, no one is listening When darkness fell on the streets last night We never expected, we never expected this In a perfect world, I'd never know your name And do we even know it when we die? Or will death just pass us by? Will death just pass us by? Please just pass us by Broken wings have a home tonight No one is listening, no one is listening When darkness fell on the streets last night We never expected, we never expected this When all this pain is justified While all the time is passing by Now is when we clench our fists Knowing we can fight through this The hours and days are gone The weeks and months are moving on Can't they see that's nothing gonna stop us now? Broken wings have a home tonight No one is listening, no one is listening When darkness fell on the streets last night we never expected, we never expected this Current Mood: none (Make a Statement)
Friday, September 16th, 2005
10:44 pm	Broken Wings Have a Home Tonight To my sisters and brother; I am so sorry for you guys - and I know there no words that anyone can say to make any of you feel completely over what has happenend. Perhaps there are things you had wished for to happen differently for all of you and indivdually, but I know it was your father and I can't start to imagine what losing someone that close to you must feel like. I've never lost anyone like that, so I can't even pretend to know what you all must be feeling right now, especially with it all happening so suddenly. I'm so sad for all of you and your mom that I can't even begin to describe how I felt when I heard - and this of a man that I barely knew. You are my family, and I hope you know that myself and Derek are always here for the three of you - we've been through so much over the years and I know you'll be there for us someday, too, whenever we may need you. By now you may be already sick of hearding from people how sorry they are but, even though I pride myself on my words, I have nothing else that I feel can ever comfort you even if I wanted to more. I hope for all of you that the saying is true in that time heals all wounds. You're my friends and my family, and I love you guys. -me- Current Mood: ... (Make a Statement)
12:36 pm	Aren't You Tired of Being Weak? Today I have my interview at The Shaw's ("we got blueberrys, strawberrys, raspberrys too!") for overnight stocking. That's stocking, not stalking. At any rate, I would say wish me luck, but I can't imagine that I could fuck this up. I suppose if I went in naked that might put a damper on my chances, but since I am relatviely well (for me)dressed, I don't think that should be an issue. I could call the manager a cunt, but I think that she may take offense to that as well, so that would be a bad thing. I think it's basically in the bag. After my interview, I'm walking over to the mall and going to a double feature. I plan on seeing Cry_Wolf and Transporter II, of which I have been meaning to see for over a week now. Cry_Wolf just started today, and since it is rather shitty out, I hope to go to the first show matinee before the kids have been out of school long enough to make it there. Damn PG-13 horror flicks. If only more things were rated NC-17. Then you'd have to be 18, which would be no consequence to me or pretty much anyone I go to the movies with. Sorry, Kymm. Anyway, I am in the process of having this hideous white shirt that I have dyed to black, because I hate white clothing and it just isn't me. I realized last night during the bi-monthly washing of my clothing that I own a lot of dark or black clothing. I guess I must be goth. Thank God I have all this hardcore and punk on my iTunes and very little Manson or ICP. Otherwise people might get the wrong idea or something. Alright, that's all for now. I'll update again when I feel like it. Chris is coming over tonight again so that we can continue our Day of Reckoning 2 storyline. Fucking Booker T. Later. Current Mood: Oddly, I'm Engulfed in Flames Current Music: The Black Dahlia Murder - Paint it Black (1 Statement | Make a Statement)
Wednesday, September 7th, 2005
1:07 am	...And I Don't Give a Fuck At All I feel like shit. Physically, mentally, emotionally...Of course there is no one around to talk to. I wish I could vent in my journal, but then again what would be the point? No one ever reads it, and by the time anyone DID read it, it wouldn't matter any more - it would just be too late. Fuck everything. Fuck you. But mostly fuck me. Because I feel like shit because I can't control my own life. So why should anyone else even want to try and help me? Is it nothing anyway to throw your fucking life away? Is it nothing anyway to give your fucking heart away? I'm dead inside Current Mood: Fuck off and die Current Music: A Wilhelm Scream - The Rip (3 Statements | Make a Statement)
Monday, September 5th, 2005
4:53 pm	Abe Lincoln So last night I bit the bullet, backed up all my files, and reformatted the computer. I still have all my music files (thank God), but I lost Photoshop (which is a bummer, seeing as how much it costs to buy for real). But, on the bright side, I am (I hope) virus free and I also have an extra 7 gigs of memory that I can use again that was mysteriosuly taken up by the virus or whatever. In my searchings today, I found out the FEARLESS released a new "Punk Goes..." album in June. It is a Punk Goes 80's. Of course, I had to download the whole thing. I was very dissapointed to see that the band Halifax covered Paula Abdul's "Straight Up." I wanted to be the first to cover that someday. Damnit. It hasn't finished dowloading yet, but it better be good. Or else. So school starts tomorrow for all the kids. They must be so happy. Even for me this summer seemed to fly right by. I don't know why this summer seemed so short; I didn't do anything different this summer than I normally do. Just work. Odd. I wish I could go back to high school, especially since I have already graduated, so I could just take whatever classes I wanted and just have fun with it and not worry about actually getting grades. Hahaha. Yeah, it would be a lot more fun on a second trip around. So not much going on right now. I've got today and tomorrow off, but then I've got some hours the next couple weeks because Dave is on vacation. Of course, I still need to find another job as soon as he gets back. I still have not made my way over to Staples (or anywhere else, for that matter) to get an application. Too bad Valley Video isn't hiring, I could use the money! Hahaha. Yeah, that job sucked... I got a new tattoo last week. When it heals (it looks like ass right now) I will take pics for anyone who cares and post them (more than likely in my MYSPACE, as opposed to in here. I still am not big on the LJ Cut shit. Hmmm...Dinner at Shannon's house tonight, then I will probably come back here and have a nice all-nighter watching movies and playing Animal Crossing. Later, peeps. Current Mood: Zen Mode Current Music: Halifax - Straight Up (Make a Statement)
Tuesday, August 30th, 2005
10:47 am	Angel-headed Hipsters I can't believe that I am up this "early" on a day when I don't have to work until the evening. But I am at Shannon's, and it just isn't as comfortable as my own bed. I've been here the last few days, because she has been having a rough time with some things, and I want to be here. Plus, we've both had so much going on with work and what not, that I haven't really seen her a lot this summer - so it is nice to be spending this time together - even if I do have to leave and go to work every day. Tonight I am at the twin again. I don't mind too much. I am getting a few extra hours this week, because I am projectionist and I don't get out until 11:30, whereas when I was at the mall I got out at 10. Plus, this week I picked up Saturday night at the twin. So that is another 4 or so hours. It will be nice to have a good sized check - but then again, next week I have pretty much zero hours so I guess I need to get another job very quickly. This town sucks, though, which means that I am going to have to work some crappy-ass retail job or (ugh) join the gulag of the restaurant worker. I refuse to wash fucking dishes somewhere, so I am not sure what I am going to do. I wish that I could find a nice full-time, perhaps managerial, postion somewhere. I think after 9 years at the same job, with several at a supervisor level, I can handle being an assistant (at least) manager somewhere. We'll see, I guess. So - that is my life at the moment. Not very interesting, I know. Oh well. I don't know if I am going to be at home tonight, or if I am back here again. I guess it doesn't matter, because no one is ever online to talk to anymore anyway. Catch you all later. Current Mood: pretty f-ing bored Current Music: HBO (Make a Statement)
Friday, August 26th, 2005
12:33 am	In A Dream I Spent the Day With You As I sit here reading through all of the journal entries that my "friends" post, I find myself feeling less and less alone. LiveJournal is apparently a place for people to become the most emotional that they have ever been - it amazes me how honest people are when they write here. But at the same time, it's awfully depressing because most of the people whose journals I read are just as depressed as I am. It makes me wonder about myself. How can I feel so shitty in my situation when there are people who (supposedly) have it worse? But, then again, there are quite a few people who like to bitch and complain about their lives when they have nothing to bitch about. Perhaps you find me hypocritical, claiming that I have no worries or complaints. But what makes you think I am being completely open, either? I suppose that in reality I can't imagine that anyone here is being completely open, because no one wants everyone reading their inner most thoughts and secrets. There are lots of things that I wish I could say to the world, but I can't - because I don't want to hurt myself or anyone else. And it would. Things that I feel or think or want - I can't just say it all. Some people do, some people don't. I'm not trying to ramble, because I actually want someone to read this and try and understand what I'm saying: I guess I am a hypocrite. Because every day I come on to LJ, read everyone's complaints, and then spurn my own, all the while wondering what makes everyone else so fucking special that they can feel as depressed as I do. What makes everyone else so sad that they, like me, often wake up and look at themselves metaphorically or physically wasting away to nothing in their worthless lives? I guess that because I can't figure out my own problems, no one should be able to complain about theirs. I guess that's rather ridiculous, though, isn't it. You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry. You will someday. Current Music: Bleed the Dream - Legends Die (2 Statements | Make a Statement)
Wednesday, August 24th, 2005
9:16 pm	But They Aren't All Good Since I am pretty bored, I have decided that I am going to make a list of every band that I have ever seen live in concert. I am sure that I will forget some, but this will be relatively definitive. Bands I've Seen Live: Folly, That's What She Said, The Skatistics, The Hi-Fivin' White Guys, Idiots For Hire, The Taxis, Big D and the Kids Table, USM, Stand and Fight, Stand or Fall, Shanqiua and the Skullfuckers, DrugXTest, Burn The Children, Dark Horse Lynch Mob, The Hour, Scary Mary, Bad Taste, The Offspring, Dropkick Murphys, Goldfinger, Mustard Plug, A Wilhelm Scream, Alien Ant Farm, Saves the Day, The Ataris, Atreyu, Avengened Sevenfold, Bad Religion, Bleed The Dream, Bowling For Soup, The Used, Darkbuster, The Ducky Boys, Evergreen Terrace, I Am The Avalanche, Silverstein, Story of the Year, Taking Back Sunday, Thrice, Thursday, The Unseen, Vendetta Red, Tsunami Bomb, All-American Rejects, The Staring Line, Millencolin, MXPX, Senses Fail, Scary Kids Scaring Kids, Plain White T's, Rancid, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, Motion City Soundtrack, The Queers, The Eyeliners, Gein and the Graverobbers, The Independents, Jonee Earthquake Band, The Vicious Bastars, The Midnight Set, The August Assembly... I'm sure there are more, especially since some of those were indi shows where there were more than just one band playing, but I can't remember the other bands (probably because they didn't matter), but they should still be on the list. At any rate, that is a pretty good list. Sadly enough, I've never even seen my favorite band in concert. That just makes me so depressed. Current Mood: I'm getting better Current Music: Bleed the Dream - A Smile for Judas (1 Statement | Make a Statement)
Monday, August 22nd, 2005
12:52 pm	I Should Have Hit The Ground Running, But I Never Saw it Coming Why is it that every day my life feels more and more like it is going straight down to nothing? Every day I wake up and just feel like I am not amounting to anything. Which is true - I'm not. I didn't make it through my first year of college, I'm still at the same lame-ass job that I've been at since I was fucking 13 years old. I just want to write and make movies, and I don't even have the ambition to do those things anymore. I just feel like a lot of the things that I had that made my life feel more complete aren't there anymore. This summer started out so well - I really thought things were going to get better, but they haven't. They've only gotten worse. And in the last few days, everything that I was striving to hold onto slipped away. Things that I can't believe that I now have to live without. This is the worst I've felt in a long time. How do I turn it back around now? On another note: Bleed the Dream is one of the most incredible bands I've heard in a long time. If you have never heard them, get their album Built By Blood. They're kind of "hardcore" sometimes for those of you who can't handle it, but at the same time they'd have no problem getting airplay on a regular alternative station. Their album is like half altpunk and half hardcore. Check it out. Current Mood: Fuck Current Music: Bleed the Dream - Just Like I Remember (2 Statements | Make a Statement)
Friday, August 19th, 2005
9:33 pm	Senario 1: He's Hanging by His Neck in His Fucking Closet Saturday: Drove to Massachusetts. It was hot as a bastard when we got there, so we went to the mall and did other misc. shit to stay cool, then went back to the grandma's house. Sunday: Went to the Flea. Went to the mall. Got some Del's. Then we went back to grandma's again. Monday: Warped Tour. We left at 6am and we got there around 8:40ish. Waited in line. We left early so as to miss traffic. Bands I saw include: The Starting Line, Atreyu, A Wilhelm Scream, Avengened Sevenfold, Senses Fail. Super pissed I missed Hawthorne Heights, because they changed their set time and I didn't know. Wandered the muddy-as-shit grounds and got loads of totally free shit. Bought a couple shirts - we left before MCR and Offspring. Tuesday: Went to Providence and Swansea. Swansea mall is a fucking dump hole. Also went to Building 19, which was as lovely as always. I bought a notebook for a quarter. Wednesday: Hung around. Left around noon for Cambridge. Went to see Silverstein w/ Evergreen Terrace, I Am The Avalance, Bleed the Dream, and Scary Kids Scaring Kids. Silverstein was great, but personally I think Bleed the Dream stole the show. Evergreen Wasn't bad. I was literally up front for them, and the lead singer kept us from becoming dead by pouring water over our famished faces and mouths. We left, I took the wrong exit, and it took us an extra 20 minutes to get home. Thursday: Got home just in time to go to work. Worked all night and then had to do a double on... Friday: Life truly sucked as I worked all fucking day and it was dead at both the mall AND the twin. Wahoo. Now I am going to play some video games and go to bed, hopefully sleeping until 5 tomorrow night. Later All. Current Mood: I'm not too shitty right now Current Music: Bleed The Dream - Broken Wings (Make a Statement)
Thursday, August 11th, 2005
12:52 am	I am the broken whispers... I just realized that I have written nothing of substance in such a long time. Oh, well, yeah - I update my journal every so often. But I never write anything anymore. No fiction, I guess is what I mean. I used to write stories all the time and, if I do say so myself, a lot of my stories are pretty decent. Even the older ones from back in the day are not too shabby. Not to say they are perfect, but how can I ever develop my craft if I am only writing nonsensical things in my fucking LiveJournal. It is such a waste. Perhaps I should start writing more stories, or maybe pick up where I left off on an old one. I don't know. I've always got these great scenes or openings in mind, but never anywhere to go with them. And I start writing, and then in the end I just have to stop, like writer's block on every single one of the ideas I've ever had. At least the good ones. It makes everything seem so much more difficult. I've had a really long, tiring day off today, and this has been a really shitty night. I don't feel like going into anything right now, and I probably won't go into anything at all. It's just general life bullshit anyway. But I'm tired, and I'm upset, and I feel like shit tonight. So I think it is time to hit the bed just about now. I have to work tomorrow night at the Twin, then perhaps a late movie? Guess it depends on what mood everyone is in, doesn't it? I'd like to watch Skeleton Key, and perhaps Four Brothers - but that one is going to the Twin so I could watch it next Sunday in between matinee and evening when I work. That is probably what I will do, thanks to the fact that I have to work Friday afternoons. So crappy. Alright everyone who skims my journal entries - Nighty Night. Current Mood: Bad Like Rob Schnider's Movies Current Music: I have BtC in my head (1 Statement | Make a Statement)
Wednesday, August 10th, 2005
4:09 am	God Help Me...If You Exist...Which You Don't. Oh, Fuck It. I need a car. I've got like 600 bucks. 700 by Friday. Maybe even 800 - who knows, depending on the check. I want it to be something decent, that can make it to Boston and back no problem. I can't drive a stick, so it needs an auto transmission. I don't care what it is as long as it's not some big clunky van or some shitty truck. Cars are best - i don't care how old or whatever as long as it is in good shape and can pass inspection. SOMEONE HELP ME!! Current Mood: Need An Auto Current Music: The Fan Whirring (1 Statement | Make a Statement)
2:03 am	And Let It Burn Down I hate corporations. Mostly, I guess, I hate the advertising that corporations feel they need to spend billions on every single year. For example, at work we have to run a few actual commercials before we get into movie trailers and then the film. One is almost always for Pepsi (or sponsored by, such as the "Doll" ads I'm sure most people who have been to our theatres have seen in the last 3 years), and recently we have added stupid shit like V-Cast phones from Verizon. Not only are the commercials always the dumbest concepts (miniaturizing yourself to fit onto the phone's display? Ha! God that is so funny!) Not to mention the fact that I hate Pepsi ANYWAY, but their ads are so goddamn stupid. Like the newest one, where cavemen are making a Pepsi commercial, and they grunt out "Pepsi. Food. Good." It's so frigging inane and it is far from funny. Although I am in love with Coca-Cola, I don't necessarily find their commercials any more involved. They are also pretty stupid. But at the same time, if I actually had to pay to see a movie, and on top of it had to sit through the same damn commercials that I had to sit through at home, I'd be bullshit. It's so retarded that movie theatres have ads for cars at the beginning. Or soda, even - if someone is thirsty they'll get a fucking drink. And why, in a MOVIE THEATRE, where cell phones should be OFF or NOT IN AT ALL, would we run ads telling people to BUY A CELL PHONE!! Why advertise for something that we neither sell nor allow? Corporations are stupid as shit. Not just the corporations that MADE the commercial, this also includes the dumb ass business that decided we were required to run them on our movies. I think big business should just die off - quickly, like Peter Jennings. Yeah, that's right - I went there. Later. Current Mood: Annoyed with Big Business Current Music: Cancerslug - Betrayed (Make a Statement)
Sunday, August 7th, 2005
2:59 pm	Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, It's Off To...Oh, Nevermind I'm at work right now, stealing the Internet from The Smoke Shop. I hope they don't mind. Nah, I doubt that they do. Besides, I can't imagine they would even know, since they only way to tell would be for them to get onto the computer and see how many people are using their connection. And I doubt that they will be doing that. At any rate - it is extremely dead here today. That is no suprise, though. I think there are around 6 people here, maybe 7. It seems like such a waste for me to be here. And it was really a waste for Sophie to be here. She only came in for an hour, and barely any concession items were sold. Perhaps because it is so damn nice out today. I really wish that I wasn't stuck inside. Of course, were I not sitting inside here today, I would be still sitting inside at home. I hate the outdoors. Unless it is night time. I don't mind the outdoors when it is night time out. Especially night time in the fall. That is the best. But, it isn't night time nor is it Autumn right now. *sigh*. At the same time, fall seems to be coming quickly - this summer has flown by. It hasn't been the best, but it surely hasn't been the worst. Nothing could be as bad as my summer last year. That was the worst summer (and time) of my whole life. I am so glad that it is over and life has drudged on. The things that last summer handed me were just...fuck it. I'm so glad it's over, and I am not dwelling on that shit anymore. A Christmas Loft truck just went by with a big picture of Santa on it. How can people buy things from a store called The Christmas Loft? To me, that implies you can only buy things there that are 1) to be given as Christmas presents or 2) that they only sell Christmas related items. Either way, there is nothing there that I would want to buy in the middle of August - on a 80 degree day. Unless the store was air conditioned. Then I may want to go in. But I still wouldn't want to buy. Dave James drove by a little while ago. He never did call me last night, but perhaps he was worse for the wear. In any rate, I hung out with Shannon instead and we watched To Wong Fu, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar - the movie with perhaps the longest title of all time - one that no marquee would ever be able to hold. But I still like it. Is it wrong that the sight of John Leguizamo in a dress excites me? Hahaha. No, but that movie is hella funny, even if it does have a ridiculously anticlimactic ending. I hate that. If you are going to build up to something, it better be something exciting and good, otherwise, don't make the movie. Some odd looking spooky kids just walked by, chatting amongst themselves. No doubt discussing the latest Slipknot album or how best to commit suicide. Those poor, poor, children. They should just get with the club and be emo. It's all the rage these days - and suicides are much more enjoyable in plaid pants with dark hair and a Silverstein shirt on than it ever would be in all black with white face paint and painted nails. And the music is better, too. Alrighty children - I'm going to surf the web some more before the movies end in like 1/2 hour. I shall catch you all on the flip side. And if anyone wants to come visit me, I am here until 11:30 this evening. Peace out / War in...whatever. Current Mood: Eh, Whatever... Current Music: Gus - Don't Fear the Reaper (2 Statements | Make a Statement)